The fierceness of motherhood + how mindfulness gained a whole lot more respect
It’s been a while…
I'm showing up after a huge two weeks of moving, bridesmaid-ing, hosting in-laws (without the law) and being a mom who's had to hold strong in my power as Jude heals from whooping cough.
The role of motherhood calls on a fierceness that I've never experienced before…
So, moms (and those close to moms really) these thoughts are for you.
Because I know you too (or someone you love) cashed in a 24/7 deal with the Universe the moment your first child was born that said - "No matter what, I will hold strong in my power and always do what I know is best for my child", even if that means many sleepless nights, weeks of putting everything else on hold (no matter the outcome) and continuously accepting that your once saturated life of self-care, YOU time and adventure is an absolute rare luxury (for now)...
(PS. I just took a big sigh.... that was followed by an inhale of gratitude knowing first hand how lucky I am to have Jude...)
So where am I taking this...?
Motherhood has been beating me to the ground, so I feel the need to share knowing many of you (or women you know) are in the thickness of the same stew….
I am constantly being reminded how lucky I once was to have all the time in the world to look after myself (even when I didn’t feel like I did)…- I hope my sister reads this ;).
Although it’s been so freaking tough (I’m talking Grade A challenging), Motherhood is doing her best to teach me new ways of understanding how I can show up for my wellbeing in the thickest of time debt and having to attend to someone else’s every survival need well before the luxury of consistently attending to my own in the ways I once did…Oh wo-man the sustained prolific self-care is a definite thing of the past… Let me set that bar straight for now (unless you have all the child care, no commitments to bring in the dough and _______ ….I’m sure you’re picking up what I’m throwing down).
I’m at a point now where anytime I put pressure on myself to self-care my overwhelm deepens, so my original intention of personal integrity and sustainability creates a negative response.
So because of this faulty cycle, I made the decision last year to use the practice of moment-to-moment consistency as my momming self-care goal, so that I can stay rooted, regulated, joyous and clear amidst the chaos, rather than always trying to flee it in order to look after myself.
So, what does my moment-to-moment consistency practice look like?
It shows up in the simplest of forms (you know how much I now love simple). In other words I choose to look and listen inwards as often as possible. Even when my mind and hands are busy.
For instance, I pay close attention to the way I move first thing in the morning. I observe my energy body when I get out of bed first thing and when I do things I naturally don't enjoy (ie) changing my toddlers diaper, unloading the dishwasher etc. I do my best to make sure that my movements aren't sharp and that my attitude, and if needed eye contact, is here now. I aim to let go of the furry as best as I can, especially well before I climb into bed, so that my body and mind can restore and integrate the day in the best way possible to recharge and get back at’er again.
I use mantra as a tool for attention, or I improvise songs that want to break free…I use very small moments of stillness and visualization to bring me back to the present and I choose to focus on how I want to feel when I go to bed at night through out the whole day, so that one day I can habitually wind down without much thought. And most importantly I do my absolute best to use Jude and Mike as a mirror of self love so that I actively see what I give amidst the furry of the common weakness-illuminating days…
These simple acts of moment-to-moment attention have shifted my world as a mom thanks to the influence of my studies over the years.
The amount of wisdom that these simple actions bare comes not in my delivery, but in the way that you embody them, so if you’re ready to try on a new model of self-care that is sustainable and timely, I’m routing for you to try these on for size in the fierceness of your motherhood journey.
And at present, I'm curious - If anything, what is currently your saving grace for holding your sustained strength and sense of wellbeing as a mom? And if you're not a mom, how do you hold your centre at the peak of time debts, furry, fatigue and great emotional triggers and challenge?
And now, how do you feel about absorbing the practice of moment-to-moment self care and making it your own? Choosing to simplify your self-care goal into a sustainable gold-mine that keeps your head level, body rooted and days more joyous when you just don’t have the time…?
I'm obviously all for it. Try it out and take a load off if ever in need. And just remember…practice is where the gold mine is at.
Also, I've gotta mention, for those who are new to me...I absolutely love witnessing women substitute arduous self-care practices with simple (and most of the time more effective) solutions.
Take it from me - your self-care practices should never cause you stress. The best way to measure whether or not your self-care practices are working is to recognize whether or not you feel good in the morning and relaxed when you crawl into bed at night. It's that simple.
Cheers to you, your power as a mom and woman with a deliciously full life. I'm baffled by all that you navigate in your every day. I know it's a shit ton.
So much courageous mountain-movin love,
PS. For those nights when you get a good nights sleep and you want to have more YOU time first thing in the morning, my Sweet Stillness Bundle is coming in hot soon! This is my 20 minute, 3 part ritual that I've been doing for almost 13 years and I'm gifting it to YOU so that you can start your day off with even more magic!
Sign up here to be the first get your hands on it!
PPS. If you crave to be immersed in self-care and you're wanting to shift the way you show up in life then join me for my Hot Stuff retreat in my home in Tofino Nov 9-12th. This is my first retreat back since momma hood and I can't wait to share in the potency of this experience! It's going to be powerful, restorative, insightful and whole lot of fucking fun.
Apply to join me today babes!
Why is there an application? Because I want to make sure that this is the best thing for you right now! I know how precious your time and energy is!